Dreaming of Sleep -The Anxiety of Insomnia.
Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor. This post is not medical advice, it’s simply a collection of tips, techniques, and insights that have personally helped me manage my own sleep challenges, mixed with general knowledge from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I). If you’re struggling with sleep, please consult a qualified healthcare provider for guidance tailored to you.
Why Sleep Matters More Than We Think
Sleep is like the backstage crew of your life: quietly running the show while no one’s looking. It’s when your body repairs itself, your immune system rallies, and your brain literally does a spring clean—cerebrospinal fluid flows along our spine and cleans out toxins from our brain. Without proper rest, our ability to think clearly, manage emotions, and maintain physical health is compromised.
When I don’t get good sleep, I’m not just “a bit tired.” I’m anxious, emotional, and every small inconvenience feels like a national crisis. I’ve learned that a huge chunk of my anxiety and depression over the years wasn’t just “in my head”… it was in my pillow.
And here’s something that still surprises people: sometimes I sleep in a different room from my husband. Not because we’re fighting, but because I’ve learned that good sleep makes for a better marriage than just physically being in the same bed every night. There’s this old idea that “real couples always sleep together”—but I’m telling you, a well-rested version of me is much nicer to live with and my marriage has actually been stronger when we’ve prioritized quality sleep over proximity.
My Life as a Light Sleeper
I’ve always been a champion light sleeper. The kind who hears a floorboard creak three rooms away and is instantly wide awake. There have been phases where nightmares were my nightly companions, or where I dreaded bedtime because I knew my brain would turn into a mental talk show the minute my head hit the pillow.
But through a lot of experimenting, and thanks to the CBT-I tools I learned, I’ve finally created a sleep routine that feels doable, and most importantly, repeatable.
The CBT-I Approach: The 7 Core Habits
CBT-I is the gold standard for treating chronic insomnia. It’s not a quick fix, but it works because it retrains your brain and body to trust sleep again.
Here are the seven behavioural recommendations I’ve adopted from CBT-I—with my own commentary:
The 7 CBT-I Sleep Habits
Consistent wake-up time – Every day. Yes, even weekends and holidays. Your body loves predictability more than you think.
No naps – I know, the couch is calling at 3pm. But naps make your brain less eager for sleep later. It reduces this thing called “sleep pressure” (for you nerds out there sleep pressure is what drives us to sleep - and it is significantly influenced by the neurotransmitter adenosine)
No electronics for an hour before bed – Your phone isn’t tucking you in; it’s keeping you wired.
Protect the last hour of your day – Think low lights, calm music, zero emails, and definitely no “just one more episode.”
Go to bed only when sleepy – There’s a big difference between tired (mentally) and sleepy (physically). Wait for the heavy eyes.
No clock-checking – Watching the time tick by is the fastest way to guarantee you won’t sleep. If you wake up during the night, don’t check the clock or your watch or phone, just go back to bed.
The Racing Mind Problem
One of my biggest enemies has been the “brain-on-fire” bedtime phenomenon. You know—the to-do list grows, past conversations replay, and suddenly you’re solving the climate crisis and the lack of whale song in our oceans at 2am.
CBT-I gave me a life-changing tool for this: Designated Daily Worry Time. It’s simple:
Pick a time during the day that’s not near bedtime.
Write down every single worry in your mind.
Circle the ones you can control—make a small action step for tomorrow.
For the rest, write: “This is not a productive worry. It is not serving me to focus on this now.”
This way, my mind knows it will get time to worry—just not at midnight.
Actionable Ways to Tame the Stress Response
The stress response (fight-flight-freeze) is great if you’re running from a bear… not so great if you’re trying to relax in bed. Chronic stress keeps your “wakefulness system” switched on.
Things that help me switch into the relaxation response:
Mindfulness meditation – Even 5 minutes counts.
Gentle evening yoga – “Yoga with Adriene” on YouTube is my go-to.
Breathing exercises – 4-7-8 breathing is a favourite.
Warm shower or bath – Instant signal to my body that the day is over.
Morning & Evening Rituals
Neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Huberman talks about how morning habits influence your circadian rhythm. I’ve noticed huge differences when I:
Morning: Get sunlight in my eyes within 30 minutes of waking, move my body, and don’t reach for my phone first.
Evening: Dim lights, avoid heavy meals before bed, and go into “cozy mode” at least an hour before sleep.
My Extra Sleep Secrets
These are my personal little hacks:
A teaspoon of raw honey with a pinch of salt before bed (steady blood sugar = fewer wake-ups).
Warm milk with honey and a handful of cherries if I’m feeling restless or stressed
Keeping my room cool, dark, and quiet. Eye mask, earplugs—non-negotiable.
Reduce my portion sizes of food and eat 3 - 4 hours before bed.
Taking a stroll in the evening after dinner.
A quick gratitude list before bed to keep my mind from spiralling.
Final Thoughts
Sleep isn’t just a “nice to have”. It’s the foundation for everything else. There’s no badge of honour for running on empty.
Some nights, despite doing everything “right,” sleep will still be tricky, and that’s okay. This is about progress, not perfection. Your body wants to sleep. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is create the conditions for it, and then let go.
