Beyond The Aisle: What My Wedding Taught Me
What I Learned About Love, Life & Marriage from My Big Day
Photo By Marilisa Spinazzola
Today is my wedding anniversary, and it feels like the perfect time to share some things I learnt along the way and embraced pre and post wedding.
Your wedding is one of the most important days of your life—not just because of the vows, the flowers, or the late-night dancing, but because it’s a rare opportunity to really see yourself and your partner. To understand who your true friends and family are. To learn how to use your voice, and to have the courage to speak up and ask for and actually do what you want.
Here’s the thing: this is one of the few times in life where the day is truly about you and your partner. It’s about creating your love story—nobody else’s. Not your mother-in-law’s vision (lucky for me, that wasn’t the case!), not Instagram’s highlight reel, and certainly not society’s long list of “shoulds.”
Before it all began, I was met with a surprise and some very challenging news—something that shook me to my core. Carrying that weight while stepping into one of life’s most celebrated chapters wasn’t easy. On top of that, planning a destination wedding brought its own hurdles: long-distance decisions, juggling time zones, trusting people I’d never met in person, and the constant balancing act of logistics and emotions.
But honestly? It was also one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. Beyond the big day itself, it taught me about myself, my partner, and the people around me. I walked away not just with a marriage, but with clarity on who I am and what I value.
Looking back, here are the tips + tricks that helped make my wedding joyful and (mostly) stress-free, and I hope they help you too.
A Taste of What I Learned
If you’re engaged—or one day will be—don’t rush through the engagement season. The wedding day itself goes by in a blur, but the months leading up to it? That’s where growth, joy, and yes, even tears happen.
Here are a few lessons I’ve chosen to share:
✨ Plan beforehand so you can let go on the day.
Do the hard work ahead of time (or hire someone brilliant, like my planner Salina), and give yourself the gift of actually enjoying your big day!
✨ Comfort > Couture.
Yes, you want to look stunning, but if your shoes are cutting off circulation, you’ll remember the blisters more than the bouquet toss.
✨ Write your vows early.
Don’t scramble the night before. When the emotions are high, it’s easy to lose your words. Write them with a clear head, practice them, and let your heart take over.
✨ Take a private pause.
At some point in the night, step away with your partner. Just the two of you. Look around. Let it sink in: this is your story, your people, your moment.
✨ Capture the memories.
A good photographer and videographer are worth every cent. Photos let you see things you missed, and video brings the energy back to life years later. (Albeit my Dad resisting this one, it has now become his most treasured assets!)
Ready for More?
This is just a taste of what I learned from my wedding. I’ve shared even more—lessons on navigating post-wedding blues, how marriage is really about a lifetime of choices, and my full 14 tips + tricks for making your day as joyful and stress-free as possible.
You can read:
The Free Version on Substack: a longer reflection with a few more lessons and insights for anyone planning a wedding.
The Paid, Full Version on Substack: my complete guide, including all 14 wedding tips, post wedding blue’s advice, and deeper reflections on marriage, post-wedding life and how to navigate it like a boss.
✨ Read the full story on Substack Here
Final Thoughts
Looking back, my wedding was a mirror—reflecting who I was, what I valued, and who was truly there for me. It taught me how to use my voice, it showed me the strength of community, and it reminded me that love is not about perfection, but presence.
Photo By Marilisa Spinazzola
So, if you’re planning your wedding right now, my advice is this: plan wisely, speak boldly, savour every season (even the engagement!), and remember—the day will come and go, but the marriage is what remains.
And if you’re in that tender post-wedding season wondering, what now?—take heart. The magic isn’t over. It’s just beginning.
Because at the end of the day, marriage isn’t about one big moment. It’s about a thousand little ones.
